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I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
You know you`re getting old when bending over is a one-way trip.
Although the voices aren`t real, they have some pretty good ideas.
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don`t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
The best way to get over someone is probably with your car
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
Question everything...Or should you?