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I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
You know nothing about a woman, until she is drunk and mad at you.
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, `13...13....13...13.` The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on. Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting. `14...14...14...14....
My 6yo`s homework today is learning how to count backwards. Yep, that teacher knows about DUIs alright!
Subway is the only place I can walk in and ask for a 12 inch Italian and not feel like a slut.
Scientists have recently discovered that approximately 2% of Earth`s water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
I wouldn’t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.
I love watching women`s beach volleyball. There have been two wrist injuries so far, but I should be ok by next week.