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May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
I bet the hardest part of working the poison control hotline is not finishing your sentences with "...you ignorant dumbass"
If a bra is called an `Over the shoulder bolder holder,` then would you call men`s underwear `Under the butt nut hut?`
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
I`m not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
gone fishing ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.
Now they are saying that the Zika virus is sexually transmittable. What kind of pervert is having sex with a mosquito?