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The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
My inner self is in Photoshop
If I randomly burst out in laughter, it`s usually `cause I just told myself a joke I`d never heard before :)
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
Walmart is one store where it is truly acceptable to shop in your pajamas.
I`d be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
If I’m going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then I’m going to need a bigger rug.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.