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Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
Some days your the bug; some days your the windshield.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
Is "blowjob" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards. -Bfanch
Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at me for...please be patient.
Trust me when I say anyone can dance! - Jack Daniels
I thought a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it only changes the color of the baby.
I taught my wife everything she knows about male stupidity.
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don’t really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don’t really mean it.
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.