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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
I go to McDonald`s once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
If my superpower was to be able to stop time, I`d totally use it to take a nap without people noticing.
My email notification is a cricket sound that drives the wife crazy looking for the cricket. Winning!
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
why me is me ?
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?
There is a 3-for-2 sale in my local shoe shop. I almost bought myself a new pair of shoes, but couldn`t decide whether to get an extra left or a right one as part of the offer....