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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
No one sees you when you`re kind, no one sees you when you do a nice thing, but all will see on you when you fart.
like this if you are against animal cruelty
My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can`t help but think that my days around here are numbered...
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.
I can’t decide if the drinks are too weak or if my tolerance is too strong.