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WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
I like to finish all of my drive thru orders with, "And that`s for here."
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
Deja poo. The feeling that you`ve heard this sh!t before.
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn`t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
When children shy away, I say, "I don`t bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand life`s not easy.
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
Me: Mom...Dad. I`ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?