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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
I wonder what my dog has named me?
I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I think today I`m going to cut off the sleeves of my snuggie and walk around the neighborhood pretending I`m in a Clint Eastwood western movie.
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
These spaghetti-o`s taste like I don`t get paid until tomorrow.
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since `pro` is the opposite of `con` we should call it prosti..... oh wait.
I just got pulled over by the US Border Patrol. The agent comes up to my window and says, "Papers?" I said, "Scizzors!! I win!!!." And drove off. Apparently the US Border Patrol didn`t think Paper beat Scizzors. Sore Losers!!