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I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re probably really hot.
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
You don`t know broke until you`ve rinsed off a paper plate.
Why is it when you have a day off you seem to bounce out off bed at 6am, but the days you go to work, it takes a forklift and 2 sticks of dynamite to separate me from my pillow??
Eleventeen percent of the population makes up words.
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
I always say, your laundry is never completely done, unless you do it in the nude. Which probably explains the strange looks at the laundrymat this afternoon.
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it.