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Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It`s not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color
Sometimes I order Domino`s but give them Pizza Hut`s address. And when they show up and start fighting, I just wait with my mouth open.
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
Is there another word for synonym?
These βenergy savingβ light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
BEFORE I GET DRUNK, NAKED,THROWN IN JAIL AND LOOSE MY DAMN PHONE. *HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Relationship Status: eating
The grass is always greener over the septic tank
Here hold my dignity, I`ve got some sketchy shit to do.
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
You canβt run from your problems forever. Eventually, youβll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.