Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Offering someone food and secretly hoping they say no.
Divorce is expensive because its worth it.
I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 3.) prisoner of war beard 4.) homeless person beard 5.) wizard beard
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook… When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.
Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
New Game: Attach a mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.