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Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
Mondays should start at noon.
I would exercise, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary
I hate it when the movie trailer is better than the movie itself.
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.
I would gladly believe in a religion that gives me free pizza and says people who squeeze the toothpaste tube from the center go to hell.
Making fun of someone you`re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
Picking your nose doesn`t make you a bad person. .... but what you do with the booger will define you.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs!
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.