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Is it true that the older you get the crazier you become? Or is that just me?
Turtle: I`m the slowest. Snail: No, me. Internet Explorer: Bitch, please
I am pretty sure dry cleaning is a scam where they just laugh and rub money on your clothes then hang them back up in a plastic bag.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
I do my best proofreading after I hit `send`.
My mom says I`m special.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
Famous words from Fergie... "Boom Boom Pow!" Happy 4th of July!!
There`s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it`s only lettuce :(
I finally quit eating pizza for good, now I only eat pizza for evil.
I`m not sure who`s more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
I dont have awkward moments I have "special" moments.e.g That "special" moment when my "special" ex learns that karma exist..
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.