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I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
I`ll take "who the f*ck would know that" for $600, Alex.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those bastards live forever.
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: `last warning, you have a week to get the money together.`
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says "Text Me"
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!