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I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
My mom always said that I`d never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her...
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
Sometimes I sit and wonder what the world would be like if I wasn`t awesome ... That would be scary.
I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.
Family vacations: When you pay a lot of money to yell at your kids in exotic destinations, preferably on a balcony with an ocean view.
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink.