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I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
I`m sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows.
that moment when somebody calls your house phone and ask where you are
After a while you just get used to people not understanding.
One thing I think the world can agree upon… Any day when you can stay in pajamas the whole time is a good day.
When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
You know you`re getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you`re down there.
This hangover feels like... I should take a shot.
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
I really want to talk to you about how I don`t want to talk to you.
Lately I`ve been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.