Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
Two knives taped together are not a suitable alternative to scissors.
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
Starting to believe I`m trouble
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
The only difference between a weekday and a weekend is which boss is telling me to do things.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won`t understand how many calories are in it.
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly