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What a terrible day. I`m going to drive through puddles & splash pedestrians to make myself feel better,
I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
Lottery gives you a 1 in 200M chance of skipping work tomorrow...alcohol is 1 in 5. You play your game...I`ll play mine
Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I`m 73.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
Most meteorologists are men. That`s why when they say we`re going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
"The more the merrier": My excuse for extra food.
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.