Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You lied....you don`t have a Klondike Bar do ya?
If its so great outside why do bugs try to get in my f*cking house?
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
I like to think I`m special, because the thought of idiots like me existing in large numbers is f*cking terrifying.
I bought a huge plastic Christmas tree today! the shop assistant asked me if I was going to put it up myself? I told him "Don`t be stupid, i`m gonna put it in the lounge room"
You know your a$s is ugly when you`re the one always asked to take the photo.
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
It turns out if you cry at the DMV they`ll let you take a second photo
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
I can’t prove this, but I swear I used to be smarter, funnier, and less tired
I just changed my WiFi password to "blowmefirst." I can`t wait for someone to ask me for it!
Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don’t like on
I`ve been sober 136 days. Not in a row, but still...
roses are red, violets are blue, god made everyone beautiful, what the hell happened to you?
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.