Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
If a girl texts you and asks if you think she`s fat and you try to respond "Nooo" autocorrect changes it to "Moo" so that`s pretty cool.
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
I`m feeling about as useful as a stoplight in Grand Theft Auto.
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
Roses are red, Violets are blue... Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you thought this would be something sweet and charming, but it`s just some garden facts.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
I saw Tom Hanks and asked for his autograph. He abbreviated it, and it just said "Thanks"
So it turns out being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!
Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn’t pay their electric bill either.