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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
If you got up this morning and ran straight to fb i am 100% POSITIVE its because you missed me.
Someday, I hope to be so rich that I`ll never be happy again.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
when my swear jar gets full I`m going to use the money to buy a f*cking puppy
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
My internet goes out more than I do.
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
Sometimes Late at night. I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
I use meditation and yoga to handle stress...Just kidding, I pop pills for that sh!t.
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
Girl scout cookies suck! I ate like 20 boxes of thin mints and I`m not any thinner.