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I try to get in at least 30 minutes of talking about exercise every day.
Next time you go to the bank and they ask you if you`d like large bills, just look at them dead serious and say "No, normal size ones if you don`t mind."
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
I can only please one person a day...and today is not your day!
Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, nudity, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
wants to rock and roll all night
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.
Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!