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India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
Facebook. Where people can express thoughts that otherwise might get them fired, divorced, thrown in a loony bin or all three.
In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a beer while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care..
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
A smart man washes his hands after he pees. A wise man doesn`t pee on his fingers.
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
I´m really bored but too lazy to do anything about it.
I just got pulled over by the US Border Patrol. The agent comes up to my window and says, "Papers?" I said, "Scizzors!! I win!!!." And drove off. Apparently the US Border Patrol didn`t think Paper beat Scizzors. Sore Losers!!
If at first you don’t succeed, you shouldn’t diffuse bombs.
Little known fact: Walt Disney was the inventor of modern day text talk "M - I - C... C u real soon... K - E - Y... Y? Because we like u"