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Everytime I see “ROFL”… I think of Scooby Doo trying to say “waffle”.
I wouldn`t mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn`t know them all so well.
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
I`m trying to cut back on posting pics to Instagram, so I`m not going to eat anymore.
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
You can`t fight Destiny. Because if you try to fight Destiny, then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too...
I`m not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though.
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
Dogs are God`s way of apologizing for your relatives.
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
My plans for GTA 5: Beat the crap outta people, Steal a cops gun, Jack a convertible, Rob a bank, Jump off a building, Go to GameStop, Buy GTA 5