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I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
I got this new calorie counting app ... Every day I go for a new high score ... Winning!
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
I was disappointed to learn that the Discovery Channel’s program “Deadliest Catch” wasn’t about first marriages.
Marriage tip: Don`t
My new years resolution was to lose 30 pounds by the end of summer. I`ve only got 40 pounds to go.
I wonder if the psycho hitchhiker ever gets picked up by the psycho driver. Now there`s a movie I`d pay to see.
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
I`m never free but I`m available.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak.
all joking aside, think how many babies might be created tonight on valentines day
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the more important question is, how did they get in there in the first place?