Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
I dont understand these pregnancy test things, so I took another one just to be sure. Just as I thought, its negitive, we`re not pregnant! Now how am I going to tell my wife she is just fat.
One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
I get my cardio from caffeine...
I just ate 3 whole chickens ... they were hard boiled.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.
I have no idea why they say that counting sheep helps you fall asleep. This farm is freezing and these cows are noisy as hell.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.