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I`m an organ donor, but I`m pretty sure all they`re going to use my liver for is "after" photos.
Contrary to popular belief, it`s actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
"Don`t make me regret this." -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
To be honest with you, I start all my lies with to be honest with you.
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.
"Bros before hoes" is something a bro without a hoe would say.
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME is not a good thing to say to your boss.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.
You´d be amazed how often I´m wrong when people say guess what