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The only Spanish phrase you need to learn is, "I know you guys are talkin sh*t about me."
I don`t have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 700 words.
The only thing worse than "the one that got away" is the one that won`t go away.
Never send in a beer to do the work of a tequila shot.
Very productive day today, turd-wise
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
I`ve written my own book called 50 Shades of Gravy. It`s very saucy. :D
Thought for the day : Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
I look at you and think "why has no-one hit you with a shovel yet?"
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
The closest I ever got to murdering is when I held a Oreo cookie in milk until the bubbles stop.
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
Mini M&M`s - for when you just can`t finish an entire M&M