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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
Pizza: nah, Sex: eh, Drinking: no thanks, It`s so hard thinking of what to give up for Lent...
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Go through a fast food drive thru. When they repeat your order back to you, say "And can I get that to go?" and enjoy the confused silence.
Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as β€œyou should know this”
A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
It`s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
Hey baby, wanna come to myspace and twitter my yahoo `till i google all over your facebook?
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
pharmacy was out of my BP meds...so i bought a baseball bat instead..that works much faster
People think I`m a hugger, but I`m actually shaking them down for snacks.