Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
Dear, automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm.... But I wasn`t finished.
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
Whew, good thing there`s a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we`d be in real trouble.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
The only clubs Iām into are sandwiches.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
On the bottle of mouthwash it says "24 hour protection", so why do the directions say "Use Twice Daily"?