Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Instead of torturing people for getting information, why don’t they just get them really drunk?
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
I realized that at my income level "Wealth Management" really just means re-organizing the money in my wallet by denomination.
If it doesn`t include antidepressants, they shouldn`t call it a Happy Meal.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you`re happy now!!!
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
Noise canceling toilets should be a thing.