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No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
If others are jealous, you’re doing something right.
Laundry is like sex in reverse: you drop in a load, everything gets wet, then rolls around and ends up dry and neatly folded.
"Hello Kitty" should have been a brand of condoms...
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
If you`re already in the cop car, I really can`t see how puking in it could make things any worse.
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
Just saw a guy checking out my wife. Good luck buddy. I’m married to her and I don’t even have a chance.
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...