Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
People say "Happy Thanksgiving" which is nice, but then they ruin it by saying "Don`t eat too much". Do they want me to have a Happy Thanksgiving or not?
If you’re going to walk a mile in my shoes… Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
"What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
The good thing about "poking" on Facebook, no babies are created.
Mo’ money, mo’ problems. This explains why I don’t have problems.
I`m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out. We are going to watch tv.
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
People who say "Don`t mix drugs with alcohol"" ... they`re stupid, right?
I wish bedtime was all the time.
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.