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Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
You should see the sh!t I don`t post.
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
Why is it that when you work very hard, you say you are working like a dog? Every dog I`ve ever known is lazy and sleeps 16 hours a day.
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
When sitting directly across from someone also using a laptop, I can`t stop myself from telling them, "you sunk my battleship!"
I drank so much vodka last night I woke up with a Russian accent.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?