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It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
How does one get a nice body without moving?
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
I hate when you offer someone a sincere complement on their mustache...and then she won`t talk to you anymore.
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone`s head.
Who needs Halloween decorations when I can just put up my selfies?
A smile is the same in every language, I`m pretty sure the pee pee dance is too
Boy: "Life`s a bitch, so is my Girlfriend." Girlfriend: "Life`s short, so is his d!ck.
What idiot called it a driver`s test and not a Game of Cones?
Well, it`s easy to tell I`m single. It`s Saturday night and I`m at home updating my facebook status...
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.