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Note to self: It`s time to grow up, be responsible, and act like an adult. Self to Note: Shut the f*ck up.
Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus and a recovery room where they have clear print.
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
Yes, I talk to myself...Yes, I answer myself and Yes, I argue with myself....and the makeup sex is awesome.
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.