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A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
When I`m bored I like to dress in a grim reaper costume and stand across the street from the nursing home and wave at the old folks.
Dating would be a lot easier if the opposite sex had a tail. That way, I could see if it was wagging or not after I did or said something.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I really hate it when I have to watch the same channel for 2 days because the remote fell behind the couch.
It’s not you. It’s my ears. They just make you sound so boring and dull.
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.
If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him that your mommy told you not to talk to strangers.
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!
I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...`That looks tasty, I`m gonna eat that.`