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When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told. Twice now.
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
“Everything you say can and will be used against you” should be included in marriage vows.
Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
Liquid sanity: I call it alcohol..!!
According to serving sizes tonight, I`m a family of 4.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut
My favorite machine at the gym is the one you put change in and snacks come out
Handy tip for new parents : Wake up your baby by gently resting your head on a pillow.