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I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
A lot of talk from the peasants lately about my arrogance.
If Monday had a face, I´d punch it.
I don’t know how Godzilla doesn’t hurt himself. I once had to go to the emergency room after stepping on a Lego piece.
My pants are 75% off.
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
When I say I like to travel, I really just mean I like to get drunk in different places.
It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
I hate it when old people poke you at weddings and say you`re next. So I`ve started poking them at funerals
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
No Grandma, "sausage fest" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP