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I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
I got kicked out of the pool today ... apperently the breaststroke isn`t what I thought it was.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I like it like that
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...
You are like that one crazy wheel on a grocery cart.
I’ve yet to be intimidated by a fancy wine list thanks to my vast knowledge of fine wines and my eeny, meeny, miny, moe system.