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I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
The worst part of being an insomniac is having to eat spiders while I’m awake to maintain my yearly average.
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
There`s nothing like hearing the laughter of a baby. Unless it`s 1AM and you`re home alone.
My stove top knob reads, LO | 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | HI......so what is Med-High, Medium Low?...They just need to lay it out for me in numbers! Like "set stove top to 8." no wait, 9.? Food manufacturerers and stove manufactuerers need to get toghether on this! So let me see,..... (me thinking)....if ten is high...5 is medium that means 7.5..... WAIT!.....low would be 0 so HI would be 12???....WTF!!! forget about simmer!........HEY KIDS! WHO WANTS PIZZA!
Hey, chicks who have words tattooed on your tits... We didn`t come here to read.
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)