Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate it when I buy organic veggies but when I get them home I find out they are regular frosted donuts...
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that`s older than you.
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
Instead of `What`s on your mind?` Facebook should say `Just relax on the couch and tell me all about your problems. Don`t worry, nobody will know`..
What idiot called it the toaster and not the tanning bread?
My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.
My grandfather once waited in line for 36 hours to get a loaf of bread and I can`t wait two seconds for a Youtube video to load.
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it`s voice activated. I`m at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number
I`m sorry I slapped you but you didn`t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...
I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.