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It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
Nipples (noun) - the body`s way of telling you the weather
My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night.
went to vegas: put a coin in the machine and a prize came out, put another coin and another prize came out...problem is i don`t know what to do with all these empty cans now.
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
Clearly, it is wrong to describe woman`s menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
Facebook: The only place where you get excited when strangers follow you.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!