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I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I`m an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It`s because I`m poor.
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
I don`t always drink beer. But when I do, I always lie about not always drinking beer.
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
The most expensive part of having kids is all the booze I drink.
Neighbors just kicked me out of their shower and called the cops. Some of these pokemon go instructions are confusing. A lot of grey area...
A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes off 9 minutes of your life.. According to my calculations i should have died in 1732.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.