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Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
My hand is stuck in a Pringles can. I`ll just leave it there. I`m not hiding who I am anymore.
I hate it when the movie trailer is better than the movie itself.
Don`t give me a sec, give me lots of secs.
Change is hard. Seriously, have you ever bit a nickel?
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
It`s only October 3rd and I`ve already beaten the sh!t out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
I like to say my kid handles funds for a multi-billion dollar corporation. It`s easier than saying he is a cashier at McDonald`s
Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.