Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
If you still pay for porn I just want you to know I have a butter churner and an abacus for sale.
If you´re a millionaire and you don´t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you´re wasting it.
The person that named the eggplant probably isn’t allowed to name things anymore.
Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by rolling my eyes when my wife asks me to move my feet while she vacuums.
Did I ever tell you about my old girlfriend? The one with the "Lazy Eye"? I had to break up with her, she was seeing somebody on the side..........................
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That`s like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone