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Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
I can`t help but feel insulted when that voice on the speaker calls me a Walmart shopper.
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I`m always like, "I love you," and they`re like, "Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut."
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
Two things you can always be certain about when it comes to women: 1) They`re always cold. 2) It’s somehow your fault.
I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.