Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My doctor told me to stop drinking...Then he told me to stop laughing.
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.
I’m having a free beer contest tonight. The 1st person to bring me a case of beer gets to watch me drink it. FOR FREE!