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It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
I saw that! - Karma
If you`ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you`ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
that moment when somebody calls your house phone and ask where you are
Hold that pose. My camera is ringing.
Hearing jokes is always 100 times funnier when you have water in your mouth.
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
Didn`t think my day could get any better but my robe has pockets so boom, there you go.
My Christmas present to all of you? I took a naked selfie and deleted it.
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
“That’s funny” is something I say when I can’t even fake a laugh.
A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, `What would Jesus do?`, so I turned it into wine ... Well, I bought wine.
why we do not have a romance class...............
It`s no fun if you have permission.