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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
I love water. Especially when it`s frozen and surrounded by vodka.
The main thing I learned from watching my wife carve pumpkins is she’s really good at stabbing things. I should probably be nicer to her.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
Been there, done that. allegedly
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
The best time to re evaluate your life is when you find your self awake at 3 am reluctantly nodding yes to the questions being asked at the beginning of an infomercial
Sometimes in the morning while drinking my coffee, I think about all the people I will be pissing off.
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."
I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.