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I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
Do these `Skinny Jeans` make my blood circulation look more than purple or less than purple?
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
Now that "twerk" has been added to the dictionary, I can`t wait for a Spelling Bee judge to be asked to use it in a sentence.
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
I`m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
*Opens box of cereal* We’ve updated our Privacy Policy
I`m at my most cardio when I am moving the treadmill into storage
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today