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I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
So many rules; so little time to break them.
Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
When people tell me "You`re gonna regret that in the morning"...I sleep in till noon, because I`m a problem solver.
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
"It`s the little things in life that make you laugh," my mom used to say. I never understood it until I saw two midgets fighting at Walmart.
Me: "I want to travel more." Bank account: "Like, to the park?"
No pants are the best pants.
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever`s bugging you.
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
I forgot to post this earlier
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now