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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
I should`ve married myself. I`ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment.
Blacking out when you’re drunk is god’s way of telling you that it’s none of your business what you do when you’re drunk.
I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says β€œtrust me, you don’t want to know.”
You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
I`ve already had two beers which automatically means my day is already better than yours.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it`s not in my way.
Rest area restrooms are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.