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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
Don`t run with scissors -- unless you`re stealing scissors, of course. If so, run. Run like the wind scissor thief!
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
6 inch - about right, 7 inch - cant complain, 8 inch - f*cking perfect, 9 inch - a bit much, 10 inch - its hurting my insides, 11 inch - I cant take it anymore, 12 inch - I`m absolutely f*cking destroyed ... Aren`t pizza`s just awesome.
You can never really say `what`s on your mind` when you have family members on your Facebook.
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
Having a bad day? Imagine a T-Rex trying to masturbate. you`re welcome.
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
I checked my horoscope today and all I can say is ...WOW!! I`m a Taurus and I looked it up and sure enough,it says I was born between 4/21-5/21!! Well played horoscope, well played.
The naked truth, is always better than someone’s best dressed lie.
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.
Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.