Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
If you’re going to walk a mile in my shoes… Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid
NEVER go to a wet t shirt contest drunk. I won 2nd place.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
If video games have taught me anything, it`s that you`ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
I swear July only lasted like 3 minutes
If I keep hitting the treadmill like I do every night, in a few weeks maybe I`ll learn to turn on the light when I get up to pee in the dark
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
I hope daylight savings time doesnt throw me off my schedule of doing nothing.