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Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
My kids refuses to play with the Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
The only people who care about my college degree are the college loan people.
I accidentally called 911, so I set my house on fire so I wouldn`t look stupid.
Why don`t we wait for life on other planets to find us? Why do we have to do all the work?
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
It`s shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me
If booze isn`t the answer, then your question sucks.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!