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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
My girlfriend would be so mad if he found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this.
Stress balls work best when you shove them down somebody`s throat.
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
For many people, "live and learn" is one task too many.
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?