Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
2 words, 1 finger.
if I was a bird, I know who I´d poop on first.
There`s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
A girl who lives hundreds of miles away texting you “I’m drunk” is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying “I’m delicious”