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Once I`m finished with this last container of Cool Whip, I will be the proud owner of a complete set of salad bowls.
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
that song on your iPod that you always skip but never delete.
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a beer while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care..
Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.
A coworker just wrote "Retard" on the windshield of my car. It`s taken me over an hour to lick it off!
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.
1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don`t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.