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Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
Just saw someone eat a kit kat bar without breaking off each individual piece and now I can`t stop twitching.
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
There`s only one kind of exercise I know and its the beer run.
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
I really worried about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.
Just ate a sleeve of crackers on my wife`s side of the bed.. I`ll let you know...
Does anybody know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife ?
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.