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Finally figured out what women want...SECURITY!!!......(At least that`s what they all yell when I try to talk to them...)
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
Being fat is when you watch Jurassic Park and wonder if dinosaur tastes good.
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn`t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
Why is there a Stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? There is a lot more traffic going to hell
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
if i get a friend request from you and your profile picture is a car i`ll asume your a transformer
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
If your father is poor, Its your fate, but if your father-in-law is poor, then its your fault!