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If you like someone, pretend they`re a charger and you`re an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
What if animals all speak a universal language, and we’re the odd ones out???
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don`t use words like "East."
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
I forgot to post this earlier
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.