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2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
Cool things about being a turtle: 1. Born with a free house attached to you 2. Super chill 3. Could potentially mutate into a ninja
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
Calories: the little creatures that go into your closet every night and hem the waistline of all your clothes inch by inch
Back in my day we had 9 planets.