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Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
You`ve really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can`t reach it.
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
Somebody needs to invent a voice-activated refrigerator on wheels.
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
When I see something funny on the internet, I don’t usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
I think I may be getting harder to love.
You don’t have to be drunk to love me, but it helps
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.