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I wish, just once, I could actually hit the pedestrian crossing the road slow with the "what`re gonna do, hit me" look on their face.
Lying in bed, listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges...
No officer, my speech isn`t slurred. I`m just talking in cursive.
Offering someone food and secretly hoping they say no.
Hey Ladies..Prince charming is Gay and living with Mr. Right
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
People should seriously stop expecting normal from me...We all know it`s never gonna happen
It`s amazing how many people are diagnosed with a disease as soon as there`s a pill available for it.
This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!
Mustaches: 1. Like them or not? 2. Should you refuse to go out on a date with someone just because she has one?
"This isn`t my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin...just in case
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.
Save water, shower together.
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!