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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
Guess what I saw today? ... Everything I looked at.
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
Facebook needs a "slap a b!tch button"
The number one reason why trick or treating is better than sex is, you can do the whole neighborhood.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
Just because you`re not paranoid doesn`t mean they`re not out to get you.
You know you are meant to be when you high five after sex.
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.