Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
I get in this weird mood where I don`t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood `Awake`
French people give me the crepes.
You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button.
I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
I saw this homeless guy talking to himself and I was like, "Who is he talking to?" then I thought "Who am I talking to?"
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
I`ve been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat
The problem with money is too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You`d think someone could`ve let me know I was out of toilet paper.