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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
No one asks the tough questions, like why are drug dealers on the metric system?
I kind of feel like getting some work done today, so I’m just going to sit here until that feeling passes.
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
The wrong time to have a seizure is probably during a Harlem Shake Video.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
Today was about as much fun as a warm toilet seat in a public restroom!
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
If it wasn`t for claustrophobia, lack of intelligence, and my intense fear of floating poop, I would`ve made a great astronaut.
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.