Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s what`s on the inside that counts... *Except chocolate covered raisins.
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today
Is it just me or does the word "retweet" bring up images of Elmer Fudd commanding an army on the defensive?
Just saw a guy driving while eating ice cream. F*cking sundae drivers.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
Nice try, Henry Winkler, but I’m not inclined to take mortgage advice from a guy who lived above the Cunningham’s garage for like ten years.
Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can post that"
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs