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This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
Went to the bookstore to pick up a "Where`s Waldo" book today, but couldn`t find any. Well played Waldo, well played...
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy`s.
If you give a man a fish you kinda suck at picking out gifts.
“Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
If I ever win the lottery and someone asks me for money I`m going to give them a dollar and say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That`s what I did."
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
Grown up pandas eat for 12 hours a day. In related news, it turns out I’m not fat. I’m a panda.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
I failed my driver`s test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Text and check Facebook."
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.